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Posts Tagged ‘pregnancy’

it is almost hibernation time. but it isn’t that hard to find me in the internet world.

want to know some of the wonderful things people have typed into their search engines to find me? i thought you would. i love that wordpress offers this fabulous and hilarious feature. i’m sure it’s to help bloggers learn what people are searching for to help them make their blog a little more out there in internetland, and how to tag their posts so that they’re more searchable, but it’s also a great source of entertainment.

there are the good ol’ “mamabearroars” but that’s no fun and way too easy…so here we go!!

cranky pregnant women – doesn’t the pregnant welcome package come with a giant button for preggies that reads just this? because there should be, for those days.

prenatal feeling like cocooning 38 weeks – yep, that sounds about right. except in my case it was 41 weeks. but maybe i spent 38 of those weeks in my housecoat?

the babysitter changes my diaper like baby – somebody needs some practice.

sherwood park + marathon – erhhhm. i definitely haven’t run any marathons. especially not while pregnant. not to my knowledge anyway. though labour is a little like a marathon, i’d imagine. but that took place in red deer.

komik emzik – this makes me feel like a marvel comic super hero.

first trimester hormones burst into tears? – ummm, yes, i’ll take at least 12 weeks of those. no explanation required.

what can be eplanations (yes spelled this way) of my stomach growing? – hmmm…. well. either you have really bad gas, orrrr…you guessed it!

preggo knockers – did you mean preggo bonkers? because that’s how i felt sometimes. but if you meant knocked up, well yes, there’s that option too.

baby mustaches – we all remember that scary baby mustache blog i did. if you need a refresher you can find it here.

put me in touch with reality but i’ve heard bad things about reality comic – you’re on your own with that one, i’m afraid.

what is R O B abbreviated during pregnancy checkup – i too would like to know the answer to this question.

my round ligament is making a bump – either you have a hernia or….surpriseeeee!!!!!!

i’m an ultrasound technician be cross trained in asthetics – well shucks, i’d love to have a nice, aesthetically pleasing ultrasound too. but let me tell you. those 18 week ultrasounds? they look like fuzzy confusing blobs.  ohhhhh THAT’s the head! i see it now!! of courrrrrrseeeeeee. (wink, wink) this is what you say to a proud parent about an ultrasound. even if you have no idea of what’s going on.

owl and the mystry house – i’m just as confused as you are about this one.

dear google i am pregnant – google?? google? are you listening??? because if google isn’t listening, honey, nobody will.

ball and chain breastfeeding – i didn’t come across like that, did i???? nooooooo never!i love breastfeeding now, for the record.

chocolate timbits – so gross. i used to like chocolate timbits when i was little. now? not so much. i’ll stick to the sour cream glazed if i have to pick a flavour, thanks. also, it can be noted, that the cravings i had during pregnancy were more along the lines of delicious chocolate raspberry cake, of which i ate in one sitting, thankyouverymuch.

so there you have it. i think we’ve all learned a lesson on how to find this mama bear in the internet world. because it’s crrrrrraaaaazy sauce out there, for realz. you can get lost up to your glazed over eyeballs in this internet jungle. nobody is safe. now get back to what you were doing. i’m sorry if i distracted you.

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*yeah i did. i used an acronym. that’s how cranky i’m feeling right now. but, the EDD. Estimated Due Date. for real. i think doctors invented due dates to make pregnant women at the end of their term feel like there’s no hope that they’ll ever be un-pregnant. unless you’re one of the lucky ones who has her baby before your due date. but the reality is that only 3% of women actually have their babies on their due dates….so i’m not really sure why the due date gets so much lovin’.

but it does. all i’ve heard for the past week(s) is when are you due? when are you due? from all well meaning strangers and dear friends alike. if i told you that this phrase sounds just the way that the crows at 6:30am outside of our bedroom window sound…would it make you want to poke your eyeballs out too? ok, phew. and i get it. there is a bit of validity to the due date, for medical reasons. everyone loves a timeline. time is what keeps things going, right? and it also allows for the docs to figure out if everything is growing just as it should be inside one’s belly. but why not create a pregnancy week? then at least you don’t feel like a bag of poop when you’re five or six days overdue, because you’re still sitting in that little window of maybe tomorrow! and then of course, panic takes over, and just the way comments like you’re so small for 31 weeks! or oh em gee, you’ll never make it full term aka you’re ginormous! that go to a pregnant woman’s head to make her feel like she’s anything but normal, she starts to worry that something is wrong with the little peanut cooking away inside of her. and then before you know it, you’re worked up to a heavy-breathing sweaty tear-stained mess because somebody looked at you the wrong way and you’re wondering if they’re staring in fear at your huge tum, or that they know something you don’t know… let’s just say that the mind works in amazing ways, and we can toddle along for nine months knowing that our gestational time isn’t up yet, so we just roll with it…but the minute you go past your due date, holy crap, game over. one day feels longer than a month…every little twinge you feel makes you think you’re in labour…and then of course, you say no, that’s not it…sigh….

and it’s not like your baby is a carton of milk sitting in the fridge. i took a swig of milk that was a day over the best before date without looking at it because i put something realllllly spicy in my mouth a few weeks ago. let’s just say the spice factor definitely took a spot on the back burner. but babies don’t turn sour the day after their due date. it’s not so down to a science that due dates are even all that accurate. unlike milk. down to a sci-ence. babies? due dates? not so much. but all of a sudden, now my pregnancy has gone from la-de-dah low risk to talk of induction and medical interventions up the who-haw (not literally, yet) but in the sense of ordering ultrasound scans and fetal non-stress tests. all in one week.

alright, that’s enough bear grumbling for now. off to my doctor appointment to see what’s in store….

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