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37 weeks and counting…

i’ve been incredibly negligent in posting this pregnancy, but sometimes it feels a little silly to be posting about round two. maybe not? i’ve had almost the identical pregnancy that i did with April so maybe it just feels like i’d be repeating myself, three years later.

anyway. 37 weeks. and a half. we’re coming up on that time. you know the time in another woman’s pregnancy. you start checking her social media to see if it’s been a few days since she’s posted anything, wondering if she’s actually had the baby or is just embracing struggling with the last few weeks to get a bit of sleep with a twitchy, heavy squirming being in her belly. please tell me i’m not the only one who does this?

i’ve been enjoying my time with April, knowing that our quiet, calm existence is about to change drastically. We have been talking a lot about the new peanut, and as far as i can gather, April is REALLY excited to be a big sister, but also is a little confused with how things will unfold. She asked me today where the baby’s mommy and daddy were, and if they were in my belly too. it must be so confusing! you go from knowing your mom without a baby in her tummy, to suddenly having a huge bump that you can’t sit on or squish because it’s your sibling that you don’t know when you’re going to meet. and not really understanding that your life is about to change in a big way. one thing i do know for sure is that even though she might “accidentally” pour a glass of water on the floor (that was yesterday) or dump a bag of goldfish out on the floor because she didn’t want the white ones (that was today) my little girl does have an awful lot of love in her heart for other people’s babies, so i’m pretty certain that if i let her in on some of the dirty work that things will fall into place juuuuust fine when it comes to loving her little sister.

i still can’t help but have pre-baby #2 jitters. but for now, i’ll keep on appreciating the baby hiccups that make my belly ripple and the snuggles from my little girl even as she squishes the air right out of me.

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it’s monday.

i’m not trying to give you the heads up that this might not be the sweetest most adorable post you’ve ever read of mine, but ok, yes, that’s exactly what i’m getting at.

sometimes a mama need to take a moment out of her week and say to the public what’s been wearing a little thin on her for the past little while. i’m not looking for anyone who’s commented to backpedal or comment and say “oh that’s not REALLY how i meant it!” all you need to do is read this and have some respect for a woman growing a human in her belly while trying to wrangle a very active threenager. i am sure your comments are coming from a place of concern, really. you don’t need to worry.

this is not coming from a place of hormonal pregnant rage but rather from a place of having respect for other human beings that you happen to cross paths with in your daily run of the mill routine that we like to call our lives.

do you comment on a woman’s weight who isn’t growing a human? NO.

do you tell a slightly underweight woman that she could use to gain a few pounds? NO. and if you do, you’re an ass.

do you tell an overweight woman that she would probably be better off to start hitting the walking trails or maybe not put that donut in her mouth? i sure as hell hope not, and if you do, you’re a mega ass.

so why is it okay to comment on the size, shape, or fetal development of a woman’s midsection who is working as hard as her damn body can to be a cozy home for nine months to a tiny little human being?

it’s not.

unless you have M.D. after your name, a tape measure around your neck to measure the actual size of one’s uterus and a Doppler to check on that little human’s heartbeat please keep your peanut gallery thoughts to yourself. or put them on a tape recorder if it makes you feel better to get things off your chest. but just because you’re standing on the other side of a counter at a grocery store or the bank or are installing cable in my home, and you don’t know me, doesn’t mean that your comments of how i don’t look very big for being this close to the end don’t have some sort of negative effect on my day.

women’s pregnant bodies all develop in very different ways, just as women all bare weight differently. some women have exhaustive metabolisms that keep them from gaining any weight, while others struggle with thyroid issues or develop preeclampsia and gain weight just by looking at a carbohydrate. some women are so ill throughout their pregnancy that food aversions are so bad that they can barely get out of bed. others (that’s me!) have heartburn so bad that any food with sauce, sugar or basically anything other than bland is off the menu. others have cravings so wild that they are a mystery to everyone! so unless you’ve had a glimpse into a pregnant woman’s fridge and find a only a moldy block of cheese and some veggies that may or may not have gone off, you have no place in telling her that she’s too small. unless she’s salivating and ready to collapse in a puddle of sweat, please keep the comments to yourself.

i know people LOVE to celebrate the gestation of a human being in another woman’s belly. it’s an exciting time! it’s also really exciting for an expecting mama to believe and trust and not have any doubt enter her mind that she’s not doing the absolute best she can with the tools she’s got.

xo

oh baby!

we learned one thing on wednesday.

there definitely isn’t a kitten in my belly.

nope.

there were sweet little hands and feet moving around in there.

the ultrasound tech even commented on how active the baby was.

 

she doesn’t know Rob.

it’s basically a requirement to be busy if you want to live in our house.

 

and i think we all know what’s coming….

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Rob is outnumbered.

though it can’t be 100% sure, we’re pretty sure.

almost 20 weeks…

that’s tomorrow, in fact…

and it’s also our 20 week ultrasound! the time to fill the bladder til it’s overflowing and then attempt to not pee my pants while i wait for an hour and then get poked in the belly with the ultrasound probe. hurrah!

what do you think? boy? girl? …kitten?

we are both convinced it’s a girl, but April thinks it’s a little bwudder.

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check back tomorrow! (oh the suspense is killing me!!!!)

as roles change…

i find myself wondering quite a bit how April will transition into her role as a big sister. she loves baby dolls, and loves the littlest ones who go to her day home, but to experience a new person twenty-four hours a day, invading her space and taking over her routine, ahem, free reign of the house is probably going to affect her a leeeeetle bit differently.

while she was sitting in the tub last night, i asked her if she was excited for the new baby to which she replied “yep!”

i asked her if she was nervous and scared for the new baby to get here…to which she said “yeeeeahhhh….”

also, this happened while we were cleaning last week.

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she found it in my bedside table drawer and spied it before i could get it away from her.

she couldn’t keep it in her mouth and talk without holding her hand over it, but she wouldn’t give it up. until we negotiated that if she wanted to watch some of her favourite little shows that it had to go in the garbage.

she figured it was a fair trade and pitched it.

 

i have a feeling it won’t be the last of her “i’m a baby too mama!” stunts. ohhh it’s going to be quite the jolt when things change in 21 weeks…

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